On making friends

I don’t have many friends, but that is mainly my own problem. I do not like meeting new people. When I do, it’s usually because I get contacted, or happened to be in the same place as them. Even though I do have very close friendships that I cherish, and I would probably find more if I actually looked, but I simply can’t do it. Conversely, I often find myself trying to reduce the number of friends, consciously or subconsciously. I just like maintaining my tiny but tight circle of friends, whether it’s IRL or on the internet. (I’ve also ruined some friendships by crushing on them, but that’s not the point here.)

I do value internet friendships just as much as IRL friendships. They’re not inherently weaker just because of geographic distance. However, I also like physical contact sometimes, and technology just hasn’t reached that point yet.

When written down, it does seem like a paradox. I like both being alone and companionship. But then, I think that many others also have varying degrees of this experience. Just maybe not as introvert as me.

On relationship dynamics

This is a conversation I had with my friend

Friend

Ugh. I love him to death but holy shit it’s so bothersome sometimes. He knows I’ve had a bad day and I asked him just to be nice to me in our plays but he keeps not doing it and it’s really upsetting me. I just wish he put in the effort more, like I love the crazy 90% of the time but he doesn’t seem to care or appreciate the other 10% of the time where I’d like him to be a sweetheart.

Me

I once heard that we need at least two types of people in our lives: one to show affection to, and one to goof around with. Sometimes they are the same person, sometimes not.

This applies to both partners and friends. In my experience, I had two best friends in high school. One whom I can talk about serious topics and personal issues with, and another just to fool around and prank.

Now I have a friend whom I consider to be closest to a partner. I talk to them about personal and serious issues most of the time, and goof around as well, though leaning towards the former. This is what I consider to be an important relationship dynamic. One can’t always be one or the other the whole time.

Another dichotomy I have heard of is whether a partner should be the same or opposite to one’s personality. Again, there is no definite answer to this. The most important thing is to make sure that both people compliment each other.

I suppose that the above are just extensions of the ultimate rule of relationships: balance. Balancing time, work, communication, etc. If a balance can not be struck between two people, then disagreements are bound to happen.

On saying goodbye

Blogs usually start off with a welcome post, but that is way overused. I shall start this blog with saying goodbye.

Without hello there won’t be a goodbye. Goodbye implies that one has had something before. Goodbye can be positive, like leaving a bad situation behind, but goodbye can also be negative, like leaving a great person. It’s always sad to leave a great person or place. I often feel sentimental about the great things that I have had. Is it better to have and lose, or never to have had? Personally I don’t buy “it’s better to have loved then not have loved”, but does it apply to other things? Is the pain of goodbye worth the happiness of hello? The frog in the well does not miss what it has not seen.

Humans were born with curiosity and adventure. How many people have looked at the vast ocean and wished to travel beyond it? How many people have looked at the stars and wish to meet whatever creatures that may exist out there? However, no one thinks about the pain of leaving, beforehand.

That said, if we worry about losing, will we ever accomplish anything?